“If you watched 24 hours of straight porn, it loses its impact.” -Stanton Commonwealth Attorney Ray Robertson (source)

What a strange state that I live in.

The filing deadline for town council and mayor in Dendron, a small town in Surry, Virginia, came and went–and everyone forgot to file for re-election. With no challengers filing, officials must stage write-in campaigns for themselves, lest Mickey Mouse snatch their office. Oops.

Odds are, though, that the Dendron Town Council wasn’t out watching porn like they are in Staunton, where the Commonwealth’s Attorney has discovered that people sell DVDs depicting humans mating, and busted the porno store for selling 12 DVDs to an undercover officer. However, since the CA didn’t want pound the point home, jurors will not be required to watch all of them. Instead, the CA has decided only to press charges for his two favorites. From the News-Virginian:

Jurors will be required to watch the two selected videos – “Sugar Britches” and “City Girls: Extreme Gang Bang” – in full, as the case hinges on whether they deem the specific material to be obscene.

…

Hey, Staunton Police! Don’t you have some illegal immigrants to catch?!

Ah well. Once all the madness sinks in you can buy booze from your local ABC store on Sunday.